i guess its just what i am now?

but as for the first sentence..its not me.haha!

You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate. At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbors and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.
At times one is burdened with more than one's fair share of problems and this would appear to be your situation at present. But you are adamant - you know what you wish to achieve - and by giving a little and taking a little you may well find that the realization of your dreams could become a reality.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

You are putting on a show - a facade. You are a master of demonstrating considerable charm in the hope that this can or will lead to better things. Deep down you are fearful that this may not work and that you may have to employ other strategies in order to realize all your ambitions.

-gone-

its been a long time since i last had my quiet time.and today,i finally yearns for quiet time.and i prayed.my heart o Lord youve changed,i'll nv be the same.i want to be a mountain that will not stumble easy.i want to be the moutain that is strong powerful..i dont want to give up my life which was planned in His heart even b4 i was conceived in dad's and moms mind.

went to life bookshop on friday while waiting for joanna..came across this book.the book talked about passion,grace,money,forgiveness and many many more.i wished i could read more.wait till my next visit to the life bookshop.i know He knows how i feel now.

well.i deleted the entry i publish yesterday.guess i revealed too much out here..and talked too much.anyway.was just dwelling on what happen in the past..ive gotta move on now..coz im not living in the past anymore.

i guess in life theres always people out there who will hurt you,causes you to be negative of yourself.and demoralise you.well i guess they just have got nothing better too do or they are nuts.and even friendships matter.in the world..people just aint happy.i was told to be contented of what i have.what i was given.and yes.i know.i know He is my strength of my heart after all.He heals the broken hearted..i know it all..all i want is peace.

had class test this afternoon.erm..it was just alright.i don't know what does unlimited liability means..left out that question..4 marks.sighzz..

anyway.i noticed that i really dislike people with attitude..come on,it aint cool,it aint great.just stay happy lahz.don't have to let your face -shan fa- that kinda mood you are in now.i wasnt doing well but my face don't even say it at all.why must you show?the attitude u show others might just cause someone elses day worsen.sensitive to things ard you can?

i so bth people like that.corrupted world we're living in.

really hope i can do well this term.afraid of not getting the goals im dreaming for..i dream that it will happen and i will make it happen.i will..and i must..

listening to Erana Clark song entitled -amen-i love that song..to love and be loved,to bless and be blessed,to forgive and to be forgiven.amen..i want to be out of that well.

sometimes i just admire people who are in relationships.sometimes i dont bother about relationships but when someone tell me about their relationship,i really admire them.but sometime i wish that they can dont tell me so much detail..when people are happy in their relationship,im happy for them.but if they are not contented with what they have..and wanting more,i feel like they are so greedy.or possesive..sometimes tells me about the other party..i dont know what can i say to help..maybe just dont tel me?sometimes im happy for them that they found theirs.but spare a thought for me abit horz..sensitive abit.don't talk about relationship okie.hahaz.

-gone-

pains pains painssssssssss

its the NE show yesterday.everything went fine for me wuaha.well..some of the motivators gotta disappear from the padang for an hour.why?i think too many motivator..abit "tin teh"?haah!so i got it..gotta go to the holding area and erm..slack there?do nothing?rest..haha!and so i went there and keep smsing..haha!thank God still got jo to pei me sms..haha!and she so funny..make me laugh while smsing..later people thing im crazie?hahaz..and then...i keep coughing..my throat is like got NOTHING..but it feel so dry.and so i cough and cough..drink water all tt..so ma fan..oh..and yes..i use the toilet there..first time use that kinda toilet..abit sua gu..i dunno how to lock and thanks to a fren..taught me how..and then i was looking for the flush..dunno where lehz..den i rem the wash hand need to step on the dunno wad thing de..so i tot maybe toilet also need to step so to let it flush..and so i look for anything to step and yes i found it!!hahha!clever ma?hahhaa!

i don't know why im so hungry yesterday..i ate alot worz ytd..reached school..ask nelson help me buy toasted bread..and he bought 4 pieces please..and i was like phuaaaaa...and i ate all.and den reached padang..ate kfc...have to finish the kfc in just 15 mins..wow..am i li hai?hahaha!i don't like eating kfc in such a fast timing..i need to xiang sou one okie.haha!but still ate very fast..nv really finish all..haha..den while resting at the holding area..ive got no idea why im so so so hungry..wait till the whole thing ended and called wilson...ask him if he wanna eat dinner..waa.call him till i want to vomit blood..nvmz.hahah!den we went to the coffeeshop somewhere near our house for dinner.ahha!and i don't know isit that i ate to fast or too full or too much...i ate and drank one plate of sotong mee and one cann of podka green tea and shared fries with wilson.and one more cup of plain water..and while walking home..i felt so painful somewhere above my stomach..isit gastric?den cant walk lehz..i bend forward..coz too painful liao..my brother still say..u act one ah?i feel like KILLING him..hahaz.and so i need him to piggybag me loh...and he did lahz..but..i feel more pain..he walk like bounce..and hit my stomach..and pain..so i ask him to let me down..and reach home...straight away head for my bed and lie down there..but the pain just won't go..pain till i cry..wuahaha!i can only lie down..cannot sit..pain till i was groaning in pain..like im dying..den i feel so cold.

okie..thats me yesterday..

hmm..few weeks ago..after ndp training..went out with soohee,youhao,yingying,meimei and chin hwee..took some pictures...


its mei mei and me..what happen to mei meis face?


fight?hehe..my breadtalk so extRa..


and again..its us..


its mei mei..me and yingying..

-gone-

RAINING DAY~

just got home from bugis.was out with jo and geck.wanted to have dinner at bugis and head home..but geck deary wanna shop around bugis village and im looking for earrings so off we go to bugis village.and its a raining day..spoil my day sia.was sick yesterday and today walk/run under the rain.sighz..i bought cheap cheap earring..heehee..pink and green..yeah..love it loads.ahaaaz

wilson waited for me at our house downstair to carry stuffs for me..too heavy ah.so need his help.haha!so touched..my brother..so nicee~~~

got home..wilson went to open his room door and got a shock..coz both tigger and milky is not in the room..oh my gosh...and the room's window is open..and i guess the both jump out?and i just keep meow meow..meow meow..meow meow..and again i went to look over the balcony through wilson's room window..there i saw my both dearest!!tigger and milky..the both of them are too hungry...jump out to the balcony thinking that they can come into the living room through the kitchen without knowing that ive lock my balcony's door...so poor them were out in the rain for i dunno how long..hurts me so much when i dun see them...thought they run away from home..wanna nao qin qu with me..wuahhaz!i thought to myself saying..how?how?they sure get bully wan..go out dunno anything..how?and keep meowing..haha!now that they are back...phewww~~~hahahz

cant wait for holidays to come..i need $$....wanted to get something for my kittens,but that thing cost me one meal...so...got rid of that idea..sighzzz...$$$..i want my holidays..

having test on mon..and friday..have yet to study for the both test..mon-unit 1 of Office Procedures..friday-unit 1-4 of Customer Care...sighz...i wonder if i can do it........

-gone-

MORMONs???????

just remember about this thing i wanna share here..hmm..this morning,took train to school and there come this lady..stand beside me and started talking to me..about..JESUS...but its so different...she talked about the book of MORMON...i did not see the book clearly..i thought is the book of morons..oppss...and she,telling me that the book of mormon is also somehow the SAME as the Bible..gosh..is she trying to bluff me this little gal?the little booklet she gave me...on the first page it says its another TESTAMENT OF JESUS CHRIST...but i thought to myself..arent all about Jesus is in the Holy Bible?how come got this MORMON book?and she says shes from -The Church of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day-Saints-..hmm..i really wonder...isit true or is it not true...they even got the website...www.mormon.org...hmm...and she showed me the thick book of Mormon...its really like a Bible...but...with Books of i never hear before de...got jacob all la..but..some i really never hear before....

okie...thats about book of mormons...

-gone-

i think im feeling feverish nowwwwwww............

today is such a freezing cold day for me..reached school and it rained..and everywhere is cold..even the cafeteria 2..its like freezing..manz..cant take it..too cold...and i feel so uncomfortable..feeling abit not normal?wuahaz..keep asking serena to check if im running a fever but she said no..but how come i feel so not well?the bus to padang aint cold to them but its very cold to me till my jacket is covering me up till my neck!and feeling super moody today.so no mood.sighz.

the whole day~man...the whole day today.flu just come and come...and i keep using tissue till my nose gonnaa break.wipe till my nose so pain..aRghh...and thanks to nelson for bringing like 3 packets of tissue?hahaz.so sorry i think i used up abt one and a half of e packets of tissue...

and got home..took temperature...wow...first try..37.1..second try 36.5 third try 37.2...so does it means my fever is on and off?-faints-

-sobz-tomorrow lesson starts so early...omg...why??????aRgghhhh....

oh yes..today had OFP lesson over at the level one de "office environment"type de classroom...and im working in the HR dept...gosh....HR dept so busy.....bth..and ive got no idea what im writing and giving to my accounts dept and sales dept de people..coz teacher are like giving ans..

im dying...my flu is killing me..

-gone-

Pictures and Picturessssss.......

got home around 3++pm and head to my computer..surprisingly my brother is at home.hahaz.called him before i go home and the moment he answer the call he just say im at home.i was like:WOW..clever sia.haha how you know what i wanted to ask?haha!and i said bye.and hang e call.and happily go home..glad that my brother is home..hee..

well..slept well ytd.the moment i got on bed i just entered into my lala land without have much thoughts in my mind..not bad right..its been a long time since i feel that way le..sighz.well but sleep too much and woke up at 8 when school starts at 8 and rush like crazie and reached school at 930am.

today is such a slack day..lesson like not long..first lesson Effective Writing..was late lesson ended at 10am.and off to SW lesson..ran 2 rounds and i went and relax haha!and rested for awhile decided to go and makan..haha!give ourself leave..so off we went...and had 2 hours break coz Goh not having dialogue session with the class and off to Tays lesson which is like one hour only but he started lesson like half an hour later...and lesson ended and everyone went off...slack hor..bth..

while waiting to Mr Tays "ARRIVAL" haha!entertained myself abit with nelson's phone!!wuahaha!!!






ps and i!!!











pardon me,im just trying to act cute...wuahahaha!oppsss

and yes..kinda zhi lian here..well..its me..so just bear with it..wuahahaz.. and

I WANT MY HAIR BACK!!!!

-gone-

BE HEALED IN JESUS NAME!!

oh gwash.yuan sms me asking me if i did watch the news?i say no why?got me ah?ahaha!but it was not...and i was shocked that during the NE show..one of the red lion-parachute de..while landing,he did not land properly.and he injured himself..and heard from the news..he in the hospital and he is injured from waist down or waist up?i dun remember.pray that he will be healed...get well soon...

i told my brother about someone and he told me some are jerks..well..kinda believe wad he say..i dislike people like tt someone...

-gone-

NE SHOW!!

well today went to perform for the NE people.not a very bad one.but not as tiring as i thought.it seems like training is more tiring than the performance wuahaa.some of the primary school kids are over at padang.and some students just treated me as if im TrAnSPaReNtTt..im there smiling and say hey take out the FLAGSSS yeaHH!!!and there some look at me and stare and do nothing...-faints-they SHY lehz.ahaha!

there came this little cute girl.she knows we are all feeling very warm and the weather is..so hot...bth..and she fan ada and me with her fan on her hand..isnt she great..she is so sweet..kinda touched that little girl like her is sooooo nice!!!hahahaz...

and some of the motivators get to "bom" the bazooka..hahaz.and i got it..wuahha.and i don't know how to use it and i didnt wanted to take it..but well.i took it.hahaz..and when everyone is "bomming" i was like:MAN how to use this thing? and touch here and dere turn and BOM and den i hurt myself..-faints-the bazooka kinda powerful lahz...when the little little things got out of tt and it kinda go backwards tt bazooka and hit my leg..but not a serious one la..just one hit..im still alright..not to the extend of bai ka..ahaha!

and my media brief partner sms me telling me that the media people wanna take shoots again..and ask me to stay back after the whole NE thingy and so i stayed..and its sooo farnieee..hahaz...to me lahz..hahaz..when we are like taking the pictures..we have to sae MERRY CHRISTMASSSSSSS...mas longer hahahaaa...keep on NG-ing -faints-....coz got one lady,her costume is like..erm... POTATO CHIP and its very hard for the rest to stay close to her coz the costume is really too round and hard to pose?hahah!in the end..the smart photographer somehow got what he wanted so everything is fine hahaha!

well..ive enjoyed my day today~hahaz

-gone-

sighz..

im soo soo soo soo sooooooo bothered with my new hair.i cant take it.it just don't look good on me.find its like so not me.and its not nice on me either...cant take it...

i miss my long hair.....aRgHhh...i regretted cutting it...wasted fifteen dollars loh..sighzz...

went for NDP training today..hmm..everything was alright..just fine.wuahahz.this sat the motivators will be performing for the Primary school kids..hmm...nervous for it.hahaz.

not in the mood today...donno why..i miss going out and play...jo....when?

-gone-

FLOODED~

-pardon me.long entry.too many things to pour out...sighz-

reached home head towards my room for my computer and throw my bag on the bed and sat down at the desk.and also sms my deary at the same time.thought i can relax abit.but sigh,open my room door and i got freaked out!coz of what?my kitchen is flooded with water.i was very shocked coz i do not know what to do and the flood came to my living room.and i got more freaked out.i was kneeling on the floor looking at the water lohz.and i seriously do not know what to do.don't know who to ask help from.and so,i thought to myself,since i don't know what to do,call da aunt lohz.and so,i called her on her mobile.

and SHE!ask me to find her FRIEND MR AW whom i do not know and insist that i find him.but i do not want to find AW coz i do not know him and worst,da aunt said he is her friend,ya her friend don't have his number.ask me go my house downstair to look for him.and stubborn me insisted i can get rid of the water BY MYSELF.and so i started "working".one small pail and one big pail.and run in and out of my bathroom.its like 5 full big pails of water ive thrown..and my backbone hurts big time.and the water level ceased.BUT!!!awhile later,it come back,and not knowing what to do,called wilson but neva pick up.noone can help me..and so..i teared..wuahahaz..kinda stupid la..guess im tired.and have no way out..so like small girl loh cry and throw water wuahahhaha!cry till im angry hahaha!and i call uncle francis and ask for help..well,didnt carry much hope coz i dun think he will help..but..i was wrong..uncle francis helped.he give me solution,well a MUCH MORE BETTER solution..ask me to call the town council and ask the dunno who to come.and so i have to look for the town council's num..and i dunno wad its number,so i called da aunt..she ask me to look for MISS WONG.omg..who is this miss wong and mr AW?and so i hang tt phone call.called uncle francis again and he tel me to see if theres a what thing showing the num..and so i found it..and i called.and everything is settled..thanks to uncle francis..so in conclusion,if your house is flooded with water,kindly call the town council.and its really a pain to call someone whom you thought can help u and it turn out asking you to look for AW or WONG.

know what she tel me:you xiao jie too long already,now its the time to grow up,go and find MR AW.me:huh?coz of flooded is xiao jie mehz?flooded will make someone grow up?????WOW!!!her mentality...omg.....and she said:find uncle aw already den call me.and so i did not call her coz i did not find aw lahz.and she also nv call me to check if im alright if im able to handle something which i have not handle before.just leaving me alone....

at that point of time im really just standing in the kitchen with pails and staring at the water again..not knowing how..well.normally all that all brothers know what to do..sister don't do pipe thing wan wad..i just stand there and start adding tots to myself loh..why likdat why this and why that..den sad loh.imagine ur home flooded and u dunno wad to do and ur aunt is giving u useless help and call ya bro and cant get him.as some of u know.im close to this two ppl nia.and cant find my bro and tt aunt DOTZ...man...for me is really walk head no road lohz.felt so angry with aunt..i told her wad happen she should have sae okie call the town council..wad AW WAD WONG...just leaving me to do the ma fan job..i spend 5 hours clearing tt flood okie...its really a pain in the neck..

and i now den know if got flood can call town council lehz..

sigh and now is my relax time.thinking about the flood and the useless help aunt gave...really piss me off.so it means aunt not grown up..coz she tai tai too long already dunno can call town council..wuahahaz.really dun like what she say..no head no tail.her words cannot link wan.bth.

man i got so many things to say abt aunt..many things that she say no head no tail.and dun link.and useless..and pointless...
example:i wanted my grandma to stay with me,she said cannot,afraid FA come and bring grandma back..so cant loh.now ah..i got kittens..she said she wanna bring my grandma back but got kittens not good for grandma's health so cant bring her back.--->RUBBISH ANOT?so my fault la..man..she really know how to turn her words ard...

today i really felt useless..no way out.cant do anything.very wu neng..sighz.thanks to aunt...for her KIND help.sigh forget it..

tmr NDP..yeah..i love NDP...lets reach out for the skies...la la la la la la...hahah!confirm see screaming man screaming wuahahha! hope my stomach wun hurts again..........

-gone-

monday~~~~

its another week again~theres a problem with my song.i cant upload it and i cant even enter to upload new songs.arGhh..it says what forbidden thing.sigh.no music=boredom!!!omg.cannot take it.i cant live without music and worst,my blog no music....

i cant wait for my brother to come back.well at least there'll be someone in the house talking to me.wuahaha.kinda used to the life im having now..but..im not a quiet person,so how can a a person like me live in a place that is so quiet?im not lonely.but i want noise..wuahaaz.if you're my neighbour,i guess you will be super pissed with me.wuahahaa..my house is full of noise..theres music..me screaming at my kittens.wuahaha!!!i blast my radio..i blast songs that im listening using my computer.my tvs volume is like LOUD.not that im deaf.i just want noise.i hate living in quietness.man,my life is beautiful so how can my life be so quiet..need to add noise..wuahahaz..one thing good about living alone is,freedom..loads and loads of freedom.i can do what i want.hahaz.but i don't want this freedom that almost everyone yearn for..i want my family...i want to see my loved ones around me..i want to be loved.....why does things just change in just a year?such a big change......why?i miss him...so much........

i noticed that my kittens don't eat rice wan..why?i eat rice but not them..give them rice still meow so much.bth..give them tuna they stop meowing and eat it.and even called for them they ignore me..so bad hor.wuahaha..

i wonder how is she doing,never online today...miss her..i wrote testimonial for you.go and accept hor.write till 0 okie!hahaa!thank me hor..wuahahah!keep on keeping on deary!!!!

i wonder how long will i live in quietness...one year seems so long..i cant wait for wilson till he ord lohz.so long....cannot wait lehz.too long already.i miss him!!!he still need a year to ORD!man..so long..........................

~je vous manque~

~souhaiter que vous étiez ici~

-gone-

im here again~spend the whole day staying at home sleeping and slacking.woke up at 2++pm had a super comfortable sleep.woke up,got shocked coz my brother is practicing guitar.haha.he seldom play guitar.hahaz.felt happy to see him like looking through the net to find ways to learn.and i sat on bed to listen to him playing loh.and looking at him playing,my fingers got itchy..so i took the guitar and play.don't really know much.just anyhow strum what i remember.wuahahaz.but i still prefer piano......pianooooo..i love pianooo...the only song i know best with piano was romance.if im not wrong.haha!i love that song.go with the flow......ahahaz.i always play it with alice.haha!

had chicken rice today..oh man.it taste GREAT!!!yum yum!so nice loh.its been a long time since i ate chicken rice can...hmmm...so nice...i miss the Far East chicken rice...jo when can go there?hahhaz

had dinner with grandma and aunt.went over to aunts place..saw grandma,greet her and u know what..hahaa!the moment i say:harllloooo NAI NAI!!!and there my nai nai stretch out her hands wanting me to go over to hug her.and i ran over lahz.as usual loh.she will hold on to me lohz haha!think my grandma very kelian now.dunno if she is happy anot.today she got scolded by my xiao aunt.grandma din wan to finish her dinner coz she is full..but den aunt wanna force her to eat.scolded her like crazie and even said to grandma:u dun eat i'll tel her[me] don't come next time.and scold and scold..den my poor grandma just kept quiet and let her scold...sigh..wanted to help grandma..but..sigh..i hate it when my xiao aunt or da aunt scold grandma..i feel like punching them.so mei li mao.and grandma told me-whisper to me-saying xiao aunt is bad..i cant believe it..my grandma is whispering to me telling me things likdat.sigh..i want my grandma back!!!sigh...sigh..but i cant afford to take care of her..not working no $ how to take care..sigh..whatever it is..i hate to see my nai nai to be sad and get scolded..i hate to see it..get scolded and she just sat there helplessly and listen can..i cant take it..cant take it..bth bth..she is the eldest...oldest...the head of the family..and noone respect her..omg..what is happening to the world?sigh...ren lao le really bu zong yong?isit true?sigh...anyway.i just miss my grandma.sigh..rem those times...xiang dang nian..............................................................wang shi zi neng hui wei..........................................................

-gone-

NDP rocks~

well today wake up at 1045am to get prepared to go for my NDP training at Padang.same old thing,take train to school to take That Bus.waa..i tell you..that bus ah..thank bus manz.make me wait so long de lehz.bth.i was in school since 1245pm waited for that bus till 2pm i think.wow..if tell me its coming at 2pm i can zzz abit longer ma..sleep is precious you know?hahah!im just mai yuan-ing okie.ahah!

reached Padang.hmm..was feeling terrible..having pains again..my goodness..i really wonder what ive eaten.coz me having hard time these day.pain till i was like..can i go home now.really couldn't take it.and so i ren.and went to dance..run and run..and den break den eat..know what i eat?i ate only one kfc that small bread and the whipped potato.wuahahaz.i look at the 2piece chicken i wan to vomit.not that the chicken look terrible.it is that i cant eat chicken at that hot weather and and that kinda environment.this is the first time im sitting at -chao cong- eating okie.and im like dying..coz my bottle is in my bag..and not in my funpack..so i got no WATER..oh my goodnesss..and thanks to a fren'z fren who came over to pass my frenz and i water..he did a great job.thanks to that friend..but i duno him..so i cant -zhen mian-de walk over to say thank you.i know he cant read my blog so its okie..still THANK YOU..that bottle of newater helped.haha!

and after eating..we have to dance..and run and run..dance and dance..and when we went over to the dunno where to sit down..im having gastric pain..i dunno is i eat too little or wad..but im not hungry lehz..pain till i cant scream and enjoy like the other motivator did..i just sat down and kept quiet.and one motivator came over to ask me join in..sia la..i only say..aiya dun wan la..but my heart was like..i really want but...im in pain now...den he thought i anti social..sighz.btw..from the time i woke up till 8++pm when the whole rehersal ended,i ate only kfc bread and tt small whipped potato.today,no appetite..den pain loh.that pain..on and off..bth..just trying to make my day hard to go by..thank God i went tru it.hahaha!

oh..today..screaming man screamed again!!!and saw that screaming face again..gosh..he look terrible when he scream..bth.actually..he don't look bad..but when he scream..my god..he totally make himself...look terrible..and scary..scream so loud..i really got scared okie..next time see him..go far far so i wun see his terrible screaming lookin face.it really look terrible..i really wonder..why must he be so fierce..so scary..bth..that look i saw on his face..appear in my mind sia..scary can..i think he can scream even louder den my brother.maybe he can join cheerleading hor?opppssss!!!hahahaha!

jo..u enjoyed yourself alot today hor......so good horrrrr....don't know how to sms me and talk talk ah..im ya deary lehz..don't want me liao isit?jus jk.ahahaz

well.i spend my day at Padang.the whole day!!!from 2++till 8++pm..wow...-faints-

ive enjoyed NDP!!!its sooo sooo fun!!!

oh ya.i notice shoutbox is kinda like not able to use hor?i cant even tag my friends.want to reply also cant.bth.so i'll reply here- to jae..thanks!!!

-gone-

i've got Weird Aunts in My FamiLY............................

well.why i say my aunts are weird.hahaz.firstly.last november..my birthday..one of my aunt took my hp to sms "someone" something lahz.which kinda affected me..and this aunt is weird..she takes her sons hp to send smses like "i love you" to other friends of my cousin.

and now..today..my another aunt told me something..she asked:how old are you?i replied:erm..this year..18 loh..and she said:good.can go and find boyfriend liao..i replied:HUH?for wad?now still early lahz.and my complains over relationships come out loh.den she said:now should find liao ah..people at the age of 23-25 already register for marriage..so you've got 5years to search for the one....i was like:DOTS.and she tell me loads and loads of qualifications to look out in a guy..this and that...-faints-she said:don't go and find guys who are older than you for like 2 years or same age..want to find..find guys like 4-5-10 years difference de..i was like:HUH?WHAT?did u just say 10 years?omg!!!i can called him dad!she really talks like aunty hor..hahaha!!and she say many many thing lahz..all about telling me to find a boyfriend lahz..-faints-now not the time lahz..still early..oh ya..she even said:want to find hor..go find those from the National Service wan!very good wan!......i was like:oh please...National Service wan very good mehz..and she tell me loadsa things lah..like her friend ah married to Ns man..with..erm high rank...den live happily..i was like..please...DOTS...and this is my aunt loh..tay family aunt...abit....weird.hahaha!

tomorrow got ndp training..weEeeee...

-gone-

NDP ROCKZz!!

went for NDP training today.its fun and tiring.cannot take it..was having pains in my stomach so just before the training start.i visited the toilet.and during the training..manz...the pain come back..sadly..ive got diarreoa today.and we've gotta run here and there..so as i run..everywhere near my stomach hurts.make me cant dance..its like everyone around me in the ring is screaming and shouting and dancing like they had never danced before..and here..i cant scream i cant shout i cant dance as enthu as they are..sighz..pain lehz today.bth..

well after training..brother called..since im in his camp having training..he ask me to do him a favour.help him carry bag home..so i help him loh..wait for him and carry his bag and my bag loh..actually not his bag heavy..its mine.hahaha!and he is so good..bought green tea for me to drink..but...brother..i don't like heaven and earth de green tea..i like poka green tea hahaha!

well i decided to put the Reach Out For The Skies de song here.coz i love it!haha!when the NDP is shown on tv..everyone..please watch.coz everyone involved really put alot of time and effort in it..everyone is doing their best..and im proud to be part of it!!wuahahhaa!!!im motivator okie...MOTIVATOR hor..must support me okie...hear me??my dear friends?hahaha!

-gone-

i really want a break from all things.

sigh~im tired.of what?everything.i want to stopped doing things.don't wanna do anymore.i need a break.no kitkat please.

someone tell me to balance my work and other things properly.or should i say i cant handle so many things already?im tired.i want a break.

i cant sleep these day.sleep late and wake up late.and sadly late for sch.i keep thinking and thinking..i cannot take it.i bth already.i think till i cant zzz at all..im on bed..but my mind aren't relaxing.but my mind are still thinking hard..real hard...bth...bth..-scream-

school work are getting more and more as new term starts.and projects and calling out already.and im so tired.my mind is like telling me..today this yesterday this tomorrow that next week this and that.omg..im dying!-scream-scream- ARGhhHHHhhhhHHhhh!

i want to cry~can i be abit qin qu hua now....eventhough it seldom happen...sigh!

i miss him i miss her!my gong gong my nai nai.omg i miss them.

im facing the white wall all the time.man my life is like....white.......walls...gwash...

sigh.well.i came into a conclusion..shall not say it out here.

if u are wondering how i look like with that short ugly hairstyle which make me look like a girl who just got released from prison..here it is..


someone say this look fat.btw.i went to check my BMI.im on the HEALTHY WEIGHT RANGE okie!haha!and i never gain weight hor.so its not fat okie.haha!




someone say this is a stupid face and someone also say this face look like ah lian.oh please.ah lian face got likedat de mehz?from what i know about ah lian.their hair long long and dye with many colours and their make up is thick thick like glue on their face lehz..and the face is sooooo like not happy de okie.as for my situation...still not that cham lahz.hahah!


this is my DinoKids Trading de Logo.coloured by michelle.


i wanted this actually.as u can see..my company is DinoKids Trading.so must have Dino and Kids ma..hahaha!so u see..dere got Dino and got 2 Kids lehz.haha!but well..dino no.1 also not bad!hahah!

-gone-

i've cut my hair!!!!!buTTtt!!!

well.got home at around 3+pm and off i go to my house downstair's salon to cut my hair.sighz.it turn out like a disaster for me hahahah!sighz.from my long long hair to my short short hair.cant even tie it up.and to me it look so like im a girl who just got released from girls home with THAT kinda hair on me..ArGGhhhHHh!sighz..nevermind...wait till it grow back to its formal self..i'll look better hahahhaaaaa!!!just don't laugh at me when you see me okie...want to laugh can!!!but don't laugh infront of me hahahaaha!later i bite you!hahahha!

that's about my new haircut....today..school..kinda boring..and why i say that...coz..its seems like theres no lesson at all.the 8am lesson is cancelled..so till like 10++11 no lesson...except for SW lesson.den is Mr Goh time..but its like..a counselling session,with chosen ppl..who are being called up by Goh..and the rest of the class can leave..and so we left and then another lesson..Mr Tay..his lesson...also another slack one..he just brief us through what are we gonna do tmr..and den he never dismiss us..and off everyone go..

now..about myself..been feeling so confused lately.don't know what i wanna do.sighz.okie nvm.

-gone-

Saturday:25th June 2005

well well well

everyone is asleep while im here blogging.ArgHh.ive got nothing better to do at home.couldn't get to sleep.no idea why.wuaahahaa.

today woke up at 11am to get prepared to go to school to take That bus to be at Padang.i still don't understand why must i go all the way there.wuahaa..but well..nevermind.reached Padang...wow...i think today is the full rehersal isit?i see many people there.

hmm.the moment i got to the holding area,i was being approached by this lady,she said she's from the xin ming re bao or xin ming whatever wan lahz.took pictures..and had a short interview as there weren't enough time..

today everything goes on well..but..i tell you..someone caught my attention..not a celebrity not a super duper handsome dude.not a cute kid..but is a very loud and fierce de Ns Man.my goodness..his face is like written:im damn pissed.and he shouted so loud can.i was so shocked.i was like..who is this man here.well i understand that he is under pressure and having to take care of us the motivators..and some motivators..sigh..i tell you...some are maybe..erm..deaf?or just simply ignorant..this poor man is like trying his very best to get things done..but...well..in the end need the GREAT loud voice of his to do the job.i seriously think he is so fierce loh..i cant stand the look on his face when he is screaming..it just scares me off..all i did was to tell myself not to bother about this screaming man.i don't know his name..but what reminds me of him was-tt man who screams real loud and fierce.-man...i bth..now his scream still runs in my ear..i tell you..its really fierce man..this man...no words to describe.

wanted to go cgm today..but due to NDP training i cant go.sigh.this is the first time in this year that i miss my cgm.gosh.i really hate to miss it.it ended around 630++pm..i thought i can rush off for the meeting.but was called back due to this erm..i don't know what need to take shot of my partner and me and some other people..and coz of that,gotta wait till 8+++pm.bth..and in between the time,partner went to meet his gf.and i joined the erm...Ns people..well..group of funny people..ahaha..if im not wrong one called manfred but i called him monfort wuahaha.opps..another one ivan blah blah de..forgot.and one more alvin..and one more..i forgot..but i know the kids loves him..called him dunno what gege.wuahaha..

and here comes the photoshoot..very interesting to me..haha..we must say hey..or har..hahha!and jump!ahahahz..interesting hor..and got this boy...gosh..he is 14 years old but he look like a P3 kid.can u imagine...goodness...look so young..but he seem stern to me..hahaz.sua cool okie hahha!

and while walking to the station to go home..someone shouted my name and i got a big shocked.today got shocked twice.haha!its yingying and mei mei!!hahah!both shouted at the same time..i was kinda tired..but still wanna have fun hahaz.so i joined them.tgt with ah xi and..erm..i forgot his name..farnie guy..man..this farnie guy..got this hair that can style till he look totally like a lion!hahahaha!and he can really act..he should join mediacorp man..he really act well..we were all at esplanade..till erm 1030++pm..we were sitting right in the middle of the..erm i dunno where..but its where the blue little ball ball there de loh.haha!near the road..sitting right in the middle and there farnie guy and mei mei dancing..and playing...haha!and acting like a lion..ahahhaha!!they are so farnie haha!

lastly..NDP is really fun..and i really feel proud to be part of it..thou i gotta miss out some of my fav meetings.sigh...............aRghh...bth...actually ive got complains about some of the motivators..but well..forget it..they are likdat...well..somee are really loud people...those who are in big big groups..and really open..talk simply about anything and i really mean everything and anything..well..what can the people in the world talk abt?hope u guess it right...but i met good people there..haha!thank God for the little good out of the biggest of not so good people i see..

sey i deen uuoy deen uuoy yldam.

-gone-

what a tired day~

woke up at 6 this morning to go school.hmm.was suppose to meet ting at my house bus stop at 7am sharp to take bus to school.but she couldn't make it on time.so its okie.took the 709am bus instead.well.wasn't late for school.thank God hahaz.

during the Business Software Application lesson,i was so so so tired which i don't know why.maybe coz of my late sleep..i was so tired that i get my work done asap and my head is on my computer desk.i was so tired~guess my teacher knows about it but he didn't wake me till he gotta continue the lesson after everyone have finish their work.and so,he kicked my chair.i got a shocked so i wake up.but after awhile..my head is on the chair.im leaning againts...hmmm what is tt call?that thing for us to lean our back de.my head is there.and i zzz.its like every 30sec wake up just to pay attention just to know whats happening during the lesson.gosh..im jus soooo tired..and had break.took the breaktime to go somewhere near the library to zzz.and for the business school,we have a talk,took that time to zz also.haha..but i got listen to some talk nia.like Q&A loh.hahah!!!btw.im not a pig haha!and again..took bus home and zzz in the bus also hahaha!

got home,did not rest.and head to my kitchen to clean the mess.wash the bowls all lahz..and my kittens..i want to vomit when im cleaning their toilet..puke~how i wish my brother is back..so can help me...

took pics today wuahaah..im in the office okie.im the FUTURE SECRETARY OF A LI HAI COMPANY!!!!wEEee!!That is my DREAM okie haha!





-gone-

here I am~

again here i am...heehee.got home around 3++pm wuahaha..school ended so early hor..felt so great hahaa..im at home now..soooooo bOred..

got all the books..it seems like theres more to study..coz got more books lohz hahaz..

know what...my classmate got the highest gpa in class can...its 3.75 very li hai right..sigh..how i wish i were her...how i wish i can do as good as her.sigh....how i wish...i only got one A...where got enough..she got 3 As loh..sighhhh...

aRggHHhhh......he is in the same class as i am!!!aRgggHHhh he is in the same class as i am!!!!cannot take it....ARgHH....i din know till i saw him in class!ARgGHhhh why!!!!!!

mr Goh can really talk....his voice is a very good medicine for people who need to sleep...i was listening to him....tilll i doze offf...........-faints-

yeah!!mr Tay is still teaching the class!!!yeah!!!mr Tay is a very nice teacher lehz..haha!he is so good!btw..i got A for the subject he taught!hahahah!WWeeeeEeee!!hahahz.and now..i hope i could get A still....for the new subject that he is gonna teach..

everything is new to me again...except for what mr Tay is gonna teach..im stressed!!stressed over getting afraid of how my gpa will be after this term..very scared that i don't do well..sigh...

told that i got 3.313 and know what he say..he said:why never get distinction...in my heart i was like..i hope i can...i tried..but still cant lehz...sighhhhh...

whenever people go around asking for what others got for their gpa..my heart felt terrible...sigh...im happy for them...but not for myself...

-gone-

SCHOOL RE-OPEN!!!!!!

hmm im in school computer lab.having break..i got my temporary time-table.im so so so SATISFIED with the time-table.BUTTT!!the friday time slot is so not GOOD loh!aRGhhh...i have to be in school like for 2hours and i can go home..sigh....afterall the time-table is still better than the first module...so its okie..

yeah!!!he is not in the same class as me...yeah!!!!hahahahahaha!!!!!

im so boredddd.............................it seems like theres no lesson today....

yes.pls stay away.

weee....im so happpy today hahahahahaha!!!

my brother is sick...i wonder how is he now.....he keep coughing like mad...

-gone-

SELFISH LAST MINUTE PEOPLE!!!

well.woke up at 1+pm today.and read my message and i got upset straight away.not because im a petty person.

i hate it so much when people start to change their mind on the VERY LAST MINUTE.and giving me all sorts of excuses.like need to get this.till i question and question,it ended up..just take it as i say i don't wan today.i was like...wasn't boiling..but almost wuaahha..and so i thought to myself,huh?you just don't feeling like doing things and you straight away EXPECT people to follow your way?when everything has planned like a day or few days before?and you even agreed to it.you agreed to everything but now just one no from you ive got to say okie?arent you being selfish here?all u care is yourself.you dun feel like this u don't want eventhough everything is planned.wow...thank you YOU man.SUCH selfish person.don't even know how to treasure what you have..tmr we're starting school and today is the last day we can get together...but you just BLEW it off by saying YOU DON"T FEEL LIKE!WHART MAN!why cant you be SPECIFIC?if you don't FEEL like just say it.don't need to answer after i questioned and questioned...

i really wonder,in life if people get so on last minute most of the time and don't plan..and even if planned and change his/her mind..what will happen to them?if we don't plan to succeed we will plan to fail..sigh..nvm.

just don't say OK to me when the night before you're actually not interested anymore.or better...don't plan with me..im not a person who cancel things the last minute..if you are..do me good...stay away frm me...

-gone-

Tiring yet fun filled day!!!

woke up at 645am today to get prepared to go school to TAKE BUS to PADANG.woke up at THAT time cos i did not want to miss THAT BUS.so i reached school at 9++am.they said by 930am must reach.so im there......bUT!!!!!!BUT!!BUT!!im so hungry tired and hungry lohz,waited and waited can..ARggHHH..waited soooo long..i bth de lehz..haha..wait till 10++am and THANK GOD the BUS FINALLY arrived!hahah!and sadly,i cant take the same bus as my fren.sigh.........and im all alone again...forever de lehz...aRGHh...nvm,im independent.haha!so i took bus 3,decided to sleep in the bus..but they introducing themselves..so i also intro lohz aaha!i friendly okie haha!after introducing myself..i cant help it,i doze off hahahahaha!opppsss...

reached padang.MAN!this place is so not cold!!!aRghh..i bth again..and is SHOOOO SUNNY lehz..bth..hahhaz..eventhough i wanna be darker..but,wrong timing lahz.hahaz.hmm..den...start the ndp thing..hmm...the place is real big..eventhough its not as big as Outdoor Stadium..but still big lahz...and practice loh..

and its lunch time!!WeeEeee!but!!BUT BUT!!the food today....sigh...dunno what lai de.hahaz..nvm..at least i ate something...but..to choose that food and kfc...i'll choose kfc..wuahahhaha!

my jeans got dirtied while dancing..so i decided to go home and change..got home,got so tired..so i slept hahahaha!!!was suppose to go aunts place..but...im just too tired..so i nv go..and SURPRISINGLY...my brother went wuahaha!so good of him...once in a while...hahahaz

cg was great today..everyone shared about their vision in life..what they wanna be...as for me,i wanna be a secretary in a very li hai de company..and a company that does fashion and travel..and im will go for it...im so sure i can make it..must walk the talk..heez..dream big dream haha!btw..im a step closer to my dream already haha!btw..my boss is not JAE hahha!!!i dun wan to work in Jurong Bird PArk!!!hahahaha!

well..tel u smth..i injured myself..some i dun even know it haha!i injured mua hand..got blue black..and den super duper obvious..like got abused..sigh...den i ironed my clothes and i burn dao my hand..den i went anne hse..i hit my tui on the chair den i was walking to bus stop from anne hse..for nothing i hit one of the tyre of a car hahahahahaa!!!oppsss...

lastly...hAPPPYYY BELATED BIRTHDAY JAN AND EUN!!!!STAY PRETTY DEARIES!!!!


this is tired jessie eating red bean ice cream!!!!yum yum yum yum!!!haha.and behind me is melvin aka MEOW!!ahahahah!!

look at my eyes...see how tired i am..wuahahahaha


Geck dearie and meee..blurr pic...


just in case those who dunno that ive got kittens...here is it...the is milky..haha!she is soooo cute right!!lying on my bro blanket..hahah!she was sleeping beside my brother hahaha!she is soooo sweetttt!!

-gone-

hmm.this week..been a great week for me.haha!nothing went wrong haha!everything went just fine.haha!

just got home from church service.it was a great service today wuahaha!realised that God is soo good.haha!and Pastor said this sentence that caught me deep in thoughts..Pst says:Your Life will never change with time,your life will change only when your thinking changes.i was like..phuaaa..i was really pondering over it hahaa!and i know i should change my mindset haha!and also:you are in the world but you are not of the world.hahaz..yesh im not of the world...

hmmm..had been going for NDP thingy for most of the time in the week..haha..interesting hahaa!church dance ministry is organising dance classes,classes like MTV dance or HipHop dance.and its like only $5per lesson..wow!!i wonder if i should go..haha!

my brother is sick.having high fever..gosh..God please heal him..he look like a weak man loh hahaaz...

tomorrow is FATHERS DAY!!!yEAHH!!!!!!HAPPY FATHERS DAY TO ALL!hor jason?hor TF?hahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhaha!im just joking hahahahhaahahahahahahahhahah!!!btw..thanks soooooooo much for the lolipoppppp..i counted..JAE u stuff 10 lolipopppppppp into my bag hahahahahahahahha!!thanks!!i will enjoy eating hahahahahahahhahaa!!!!

HAPPY lao dou jie hahahahhahahah!!!

tel u wad..tmr having NDP training at Padang...BUTTT..i cant go padang all by myself..i have to go ALL THE WAY to SIMEI to take the bus offered by the school down to padang..pls!!!!aRGhh...waste my time loh..aRGhh...nvm...haha!im jus complaining wuahahahahahahhaa!!!

-gone-

pictures speaks a thousand words~~
























-gone-

its 120am and i just woek up frm my lalala land at 12++am.hee..

its a tiring yet exciting yet fun filled day today!!hmm..was kinda tiring thou,but thank God i still have the strength to jian chi till im home haha!i did not sleep for 24hrs haha!and its my very first record!hahaha!

left my home at 8++am today to meet ting to go school together,she gotta get sch uniform hahaz.she is coming to mua school!!weEee!!hmm..she is kinda sad..due to...but well..as i've told her everything..just hope she'll be fine soon...

went to the main LT today..and wow..so many people..STRESSED..den we danced..and i keep forgetting my dance steps and Jerlin-cherographer-says kinda obvious haha!so ive gotta memorise all now..and tomorrow at 8am its the actual media thing liao!cham la cham!!stressed!all the reporters,Channel NewsAsia people coming and Djs coming..oh no!!!stressed!and must danced infront a whole lot of people..and must SMILE haha!i hope i can do it..haha!and its like,we got little time rehers tmr as we are the first to perform!!arGhhh..HELP!!haha!and i tel you,my partner!!!!!he is a VERY POWERFUL i really mean POWERFUL dancer!!each and every step he takes,man!!!!the POWER is EXTREME!den he is so talll..or i mean im short lahz..den..aRGhhh...im like a grass beside him!haha!but he is very funny lah!our dance we still have to make noise like UH HUH!UH HUH!!WOHHHOOOOOOO!!aahhaha!funny sia...and while practising with my partner the dancestep,i keep chuan qi-ing,coz he is jus too faST!!and i ALSO tired..and den keep 12345678!!den..very fast beat haha!den we have to dance like its not our first time eventhough it is haha!and SMILE and SMILE haha!it was a fun day today haha!

i actually doze off while waiting for the NSF people to end their meeting haha..so bad hor..haha..but nvm..i think noone saw me zzz haha!

i becoming to dislike KFC!!all training they offer KFC...gosh!!!it dun come with water also..den its like 2pcs chicken likedat...not full..coz nv eat finish la.coz not nice!!i dun like KFC!!haha!i dun mind mac!!!ahahha!

i cant wait for the dance!!!wEEeeeeeee!!!Motivators!!!GOOOO!!!!We can do it!

zzzzZZzzZZzzzzzZZzzZZZZZzzzzzz

-yawnnnnnnn-woke up around 2++3pm.very "early"hor?haha!well..today im super free.coz i've got no plans to go out and play.haha!decided to stay at home and chill..eventhough theres nothing interesting at home..i just want to pei yang gan qing with my home sweetie home.haha!and also do some cleaning up.im so sick and tired of the messy stuff around my house.ESPecially the living room,eventhough its not my stuff,but i don't understand why HE keep bringing HIS stuff and put at MY house!its like,its my house and you are here sleeping already,im okie with it but you should at least clean up some of your things and pack.but sadly you did not.and small things like my kitchen dustbin,i did not put any plastic bag coz i no time to put so if someone wants to throw things into the dustbin,its like only one step away for the person to reach out for the plastic bags and put it into the dustbin and there he can throw the things away,SADLY again,HE DID NOT.and he just throw!!!ARGhhHHhH!!!QI SI WO LE!!why can't grown ups be alittle....ermm...not lazy and....erm....be alittle...erm....clean?

sigh..the feeling is so not good..whenever i got home,i see the stuff at the living room,i feel so lazy to do anything.coz whatever i do,or how many times i do,its still the SAME!!no change..ARGHhh!really BTH!!hahaz..

i can live without my maid,but i don't think he can live without someone who is there to clean.eventhough i wish my maid can come back..butt...sigh.BTH..BTH..aiya...loads of stories behind him..i just don't want to say it..all i know is,sometimes..even if its your brother or closest kin,cant be trusted or..some are very cruel..or some are very ermmm...BAD?sigh..but i think,its only for the older generation..hahaz..coz my brother and i,wun do such things to one another..we love each other too much and quarrels is nan mian de ahaha..

sigh...okie..thats me complaining..but still,life have to go on STILL.............ARghh...

---yesterday---

went church with joanna..ahaha..im so happy that she went church tgt with me..its like wow!my best fren is coming to the church i always go..ahah..den after that went to the opp kopitiam and had a drink talk all tat...den head down town..took pics..haha!

hmm...meeting jo later for my breakfast lunch and dinner.ahhaaha!

i want to cut hair!!!!i want to cut hair!!!i want to cut hairr!!!!!!

daer ruoy golb..adnik ssim uoy.dnimreven efil llits evah ot og no.evi llits attog evom no.

-gone-

my tiring day~

today was late for my NDP training..erm late for 15mins.it starts at 930am but i turned up ard 945am.haha.i woke up late.woke up at 830am.oppss..actually i got up at 705am..but den i see HP,its still early as i set my alarm at 715am..ahah.10mins can dream alot de okie haha!and i went back to my lalala land and den,im LATE haha!

was late and have got no money to take cab.so borrowed money from my bro..haha!see my brother so good..ahaa..and just now he said:when u got the money den return..as long u rem you need to return me the money can liao..i was like phhhuuaaaa...brother,since when u are so good to me??haha..know why i say that?coz my brother used to sae10cent also must return and must return now..den now..he say wait till i have the money..wow!!haha!

NDP training was really fun today..haha!but!!!the weather is super not cold loh..i BTH..eventhough the sun wasn't that sunny..but no wind!haha!keep running and running haha!!eventhough its hot and tiring..i did enjoy myself...they offered KFC for lunch..im hungry but the moment i look at the KFC box...i have no appetite..i was like sweating and its so hot there and eating the KFC make me feel worst..so i decided not to eat haha!

den everything ended..wanna go aunt place..den i took train,and i think im just SOOOOOOOOOooo tired that i did not bother if i board the right train..in the end,i boarded the WRONG train!!i took the train to Jurong East den i was too tired..i thought the train will be going down Marina Bay so i continue sitting..and i fall asleep..den...i heard...Choa Chu KAng..i was like HUHHH why am i going back to where i came from!!den i noticed i boarded wrongly haha!and when im at Dhoby Ghaut,my leg cannot move liao...sit too long haha!pardon me for being abit blur for once okie haha!

today shar sms me saying: Wow!Do you know that your name means 'Blessed One'?That's fantastic right?ahah!in my heart i was like REALLLYYY!!!haha!wonder how shar know haha!but i love wad it meant.ahha!

there's something wrong with my song lehz.ARGghh...

meeting jo deary at 730am at the Singapore Changi Airport haha!so early lehz...sacrifice my sleep haha!

okie..today went aunt's place..while having dinner,grandma came..saw her..as usual i went to hug her tite tite haha!i miss her so much!and den she...pinch my meat haha!and cry..omg!she said im not fat enough!!i was like HUH!!nai nai!!!!fat bu hao!!!den she cry~~~sigh..she says she's worried for me,saying dad is not in Singapore,noone can take care of me..i was like..please nai nai..im old enough to take care of myself..ive been taking care of myself for so long already..so scared WAD?hahaha!i love independence okie...noone can spoil it!haha!

i really miss my grandma..sigh i really wish we could be like before..noone step in between us..only she and me..but now,everythings changed...people are turning more to the money minded side..but well..rich people don't work on me..too bad..i dun fancy the riches.....

in the past...rich but life is hell..now..not rich but im leading a happy and wonderful life...so,it means,not all riches gain everything in life..be it happiness love....im not rich,but im leading a wonderful life...with love and happiness and etc...im happy with what God has given me..

-gone-

woke up at 8am to go sentosa to support the Extreme Sports.hmm the participants are all so powerful,they can run so long and even swim..and some came back lying down flat on the ground...

and its the telematch where the ntu sim/smu sot and etc join to play some interesting games haha!its so fun!!haha!have to crawl under the hmm wad is that called?i duno.and hold on to the cone and turn 10 rounds and run to the point to throw one ball into the pail..haha!some turn 10 rounds they cant stand still and they keep running towards the left haha!and some fell.haha!

the sun today was alright..i hope it was a little sunny..haha!coz i want to get myself tanned..hhaa!BUT!!! when i got home,i did get myself tanned but,cham!!not nice..i wore t shirt..so my neck darker colour..and my face is redish and my arms..haha!but its so wierd for my neck..haha!!nvm!!

guess what,today someone blessed me with financial blessing!!!yeah!!and that is mike!!thank you so much mikey!!!

tonight is the last day of the Emerge Conference...sadly i cant make it as i've gotta attend my NDP training...well..the training went smoothly..everything was fine..i got the steps all that..

as for me,im involved in the media blah blah lahz..den have to learn extra dance steps..and after learning jus now,the cherographer wants the ppl involved to dance right in front of everyone..and its a lot of people and during that time,im still trying to memorise my new steps...got the steps in the end haha!eventhough kinda..like ERMMMM...but,i managed to get through it..haha!and im on the second row of the group..yeah!!!

as for wad i wrote in the entry ytd..i don't wish to talk about it..and i hope that noone will come and ask me..coz,i don't want to say anything im afraid to say wrong things again and please don't question me,coz i really don't know how to ans..and i'll somehow ans it..so please stop asking...u keep asking me,and i keep saying i don't know all that,coz i dunno how to tel u,if u want to know..you ask our L.please don't keep questioning me,coz when i don't want to ans you,i see the look on your face,i felt terrible...can don't make me feel that way again...if you noticed anything..you just keep it to yourself its better..u ask when everything is alright...but for now..its not..so its better to keep it low...and i really mean it..STOP asking me okie...i cant take it..eventhough im smiling laughing...but my heart is like...can i leave now...i don't wish to talk anymore..stop making me feel this way...im not able to take it...

and i've decided to stay happy still...if im sad everyday,my life will not be good as it is usually...

jo deary is coming over tmr morning..i shall make myself happy and stop getting distracted...i really hope tmr will be a better day...i really hope...

the sun even wanna tanned my lips...

my beautiful neck!

my beautiful kar..

i don't know why i am the shortest...aRghh...anyway,its Teng Hong,Jason,Mike,Clarice and me

got home at 12am.what a day today..............................

eventhough everything seems fine,but its so not.........................i hate this feeling..its terrible..sigh...for the first im wrong i know..for the second,how would i know i cant say that?i sms u but u nv reply and u said u forgot to reply and u said i can sms u again..but when whenever u nv reply me i always stop smsing..and what i said its what i saw and i don't even know what happen btw.................i said it out..and i didn't mean it..but what im clear about is,i was told that it was a misunderstanding..and i said it was a misunderstanding..and why must someone ponder over misunderstanding?

and i did not say anything about it till today was i do not want to be involved in this kinda problem..u told me that i can ans by saying to ask u,but if i were to say that,isnt it fishy?

okie i know im slow,i know im stupid okie..i know now,i admit okie..i cant even handle such things..or simple saying im a big mouth woman...okie...i admit okie..i am!

over the phone talk earlier...i felt so terrible.....yes i said i wanted to...ya two times in a day i said i wanted to...and i did not say its ur fault..when ur on the phone u say likdat,do u know that i felt more terrible...coz i din want this to happen at all...

after the phone call,i feel like digging a hole and stay in and don't come out...i feel like going home...i feel like can i just stop doing one thing now....jus stop....i feel like its the end of me...this is how i feel today...and it felt terrible...

and what i noticed about myself is that,when im in a situation that i cant handle,like when i ans u,u ask how come lehz?and if i was not suppose to let u know,i will not know how to ans u,but what i ans u was a misunderstanding..i was told it was a misunderstanding...i was told!i was told!!!!!!!MISUNDERSTANDING!

i din know what had happen to........ and i wouldnt know anything...but what i said was a misunderstanding..again..i was told it was a misunderstanding..

you say u wanna talk to me about it..but u nv..do u know in my heart i felt more terrible...coz that problem is not settled..and i will feel so bothered over it..coz it was said out of my mouth..and i wish it can be settled soon...coz i don't wanna see you and to feel terrible...i hate tt feeling..

i shall keep quiet from now on..SHUT UP..

that was the first part of today...as for second part...

manz...i was having a tough time during service...i was having a terrible pain in my stomach!it hurt so much that i couldnt jump sing louder and have to stay still..and everything turned out freezing cold...i couldnt take it..so i prayed to God asking Him to take the pain away..and thankfully the pain was go a little by a little...but now im home..im still in pain..BTH...arghh...

im gonna go sentosa tmr at 830am...then having NDP in school..it starts at 6.30pm..but for me it starts at 530pm..don't know why...

i had a really bad day today...a very bad one...had nv been so bad before....sigh...how i wish i got someone to talk to...but.....sigh..nvm...hope tmr everything is fine....

another part-----

while walking home from the MRT station..one guy came and talk to me..he said he was from my school and said he is my fren fren..and he said the frenz name out..and yes we talked..and i was shocked when i know that he know who am i and what bag im carrying in school!!he even said it out,he said,you carry that pink bag with the num 69 on it right..i was like..EEEeeerrrrMMM...yaahhh...den he intro himself by telling me his name and i told him mine..

and i walked off,we walked the different way..he exit the left..i exited on the right..im in the rush to go home to take care of my kittens...den he came walking FASt towards me asking me a question..do u want to do telemarketing?i said..erm.what is that?he said working in a office..doing marketing..i told him im not interested..and i continued walking..but he jus walk with me sia..and he ask questions and questions..and i guess he tot im very stupid...he ask me to do a survey and someone will call me..well will CALL me..who is that someone?HIM LA...so obvious that he wanted to know my HP number..gosh..Thank God im alert that time...and i say..huh?don't want lahz..and continue walking..and he followed..ARGhh...my heart was like..erm can u go away...eventhough we same school...but....wo ken ni dou bu shi hen sou..and i tel u....this guy...WIERD...

know why wierd?let me ask...why would a guy tell u how much he have in his bank?and for wad he tel me?i don't even want to know..and why would a guy even for nothing tell u how many siblings he got..and even asked me how many siblings i've got..and even ask if my dad or mom is supporting me..and ask what time my school start and do i always go to school that way and do i always go home late...gosh i had a public interview for nothing..and ask where i stay..and thank God im still alert..i anyhow wave my hand ard and said...somewhere there lahz..haha!but its not near the place we are talking haha!!and COZ of him...i walked the longer way home...aRGhh..waste my precious time...and why would a guy who gotta know me for less den half an hour tel me so many thing abt him,how bad he was when he was in Kindergarten and how bad he was when he was in secondary..and whats his GPA point in school..and tel me where he went just now and how many people he talked to..he even told me the gender of the ppl he talked to..and somehow like insisted me joining the wad marketing..say will learn to talk to many people...im so sorry man...i was born to be talkative..and i like to talk..i don't have to join that to be able to talk more..so i told him:erm...i always talk alot..and he said...good...this line for u is good..in my heart i was like -faints-i know its good but i told u earlier that im not interested....

see..wad a day...wad a day...wad a day!!not in the mood now...sighhhhhh...ARGHHHhh

-gone-

got home from church at 12+am.i had a long long day today!!a very long one!and im so hungry..waiting for my noodle to be ready,so here i come to blog!!

was out since 8++am till 12+am..wow!haha!went to church for our EMERGE COnfereNCE!!!WEeeEE!!i've enjoyed so much being there,just to scream my lungs out while supporting the people who are performing at Talentine..haha!and they are really very funny and they are really people with potential of being a singer or maybe actor and actresses!!they sing and acted so well!!wow!!will there be a City Harvest Idol?haha!People at City Harvest Church are just so wonderful!!

what caught my attention during Talentine was this drama on Romeo and Juliet!!hahaha!it was so funny!!and Shelia acted in it,guess i know her but she dunno who am i!!and i think Shelia is such a great wonderful Actress..she really acted very well!!and the other caught my attention was the don't know what group but their item was something like in the day we are students,in the night we are BROTHERS!and the GIRLS acted like.... UH SHUT UP and its so clarice!!!ahahaa!!u know!!haha!and theres this guy sang wang li hom ai de jiu shi ni,he can really sing!!he got the potential!!and i forgot this girl name,she say alicia keys song,and she sang super duper well!!!she is just so greaT!!and for them to win those EXCITING PRizes!!we,the audience have to scream and shout make noise for the dunno wad to gain points for them..and i screamed like i've nv screamed b4!!and its like my tone from low to the highest...which can irritated the ear!!hahah!i've enjoyed myself today!!!

well...quarrelled with my brother today...guess im also at fault,maybe my sms don't sound nice to him..but sms got no sound no voice..so he mistaken i guess..but well..i still cant forget the words tt he said in the sms!do u know that u hurt me!do u know that the words tt u say had already stabbed me..have u ever tot of considering how would others feels over wad u say?i doubt u do..quarrel coz of the kittens..sigh..and he,use words to hurt me and even PERSECUTE me...nvm..i'll clear all this problems once he is back from his camp.wad i know more abt my bro today is that he love to condemn people...ive got it!thanks!

today..i totally felt the presence of God during the 730pm svc...i love Our Almighty God!

took neoprint the other day...upload some here












okie..theres more about today,but i do not have enough time to update as ive gotta be in church tmr at 8am..need to zzz early so i can be on time tmr..

-gone-

just got up from my dreamland.did not want to wake up,but thought of my kittens so i've got no choice but to wake up haha!

i cant believe it,but kittens are really hungry kittens.the moment i open the room door,my kittens run towards me..very fast lehz.and there they started their MEOWING session,maybe to see who can meow louder.and they meow and jump lohz.they are SIAO.ahahaha!

hmm.wonder why i never update?my computer is siao.i typed a whole essay of entry and i click publish post den,my internet connection turned siao.so the entry is gone.so now,i hope my interenet connection will be stable.haha!

okie..something happened on thurdays right hor?JOANNA?hor?hope it won't happen again kayz.coz i don't like it.hahaz..hmm..on friday..went church,wanna eat SPAGHETTI..been craving for it like on thursday and someone loh!!someone,hor peishan? hor?Jason?hahaha!!they wanted to eat KFC haha!nvm..so i ate KFC instead..haha..you guys don't have to repent lahz..its jus spaghetti lahz haha!im okie with it de..craving er yi mahz..haha!

yesterday had cell group meeting.after cgm we went to tampines and had dinner at yoshinoya..haha!actually the food aint that bad lahz.but,for me,i'll never eat that,i find their zao pai don't attract me lehz..ahhaha!!den went to walk around..hmm..called aunt at 10pm..haha!got scolded..sigh..forever scold me sia..coz i called so late.and she wants to zzz..sorry lohz...i forgot that she always sleep at 10pm SHARP.but she can talk properly wad.don't have to scream,so rough..sigh..chinawoman...thank God my step mother is not staying with me..from what i've been through..chinawoman who aint married and wanting to get married are super gentle and sweet.kind..serious!!but once they are married,GOSH!!they turned into a tigeress..and that is my aunt!before she got married...man,i love hanging out with her..but once she got married...i hope i don't see her that often.and hor..chinawoman super selfish.b4 marriage agree to everything..after getting married,i tell you..try to act as the big boss!thank God my dad is a da nan ren..i can never take it that she use my sis to stop dad from coming back..chinawoman...sigh..nvm..have big heart...

okie thats about chinawoman.

-gone-

Artist: All-4-One
Song Title: Not Ready For Goodbye

v1:
Sittin here staring at the wall
Another lonely tear falls
I'm tryin to write you this song
But i can hardly see the page at all
Cause it's breaking my heart
When i look in your eyes
And i don't see me anymore
When you're all i'm living for

Chorus:
Baby tell me that you still believe
That you still love me
The way i love you
If you take your love away from me
You know i will die
Cause i'm not ready for goodbye

V2:
Baby please pick up the phone
Tell me i'm crazy
I got it all wrong
I don't know what i'm gonna do
I don't know how to live without you
You are the first song
My heart ever heard
And baby i
I believe every word
You are my heart
My soul
My world

Chorus

V3:
Every breath that i take
Every beat of my heart
You know it's all for you
I wanna hold you
I wanna love you
Forever and always

Chorus 2x